Who’s your daddy ?

August 14, 2009 at 2:43 am (Uncategorized) (, )

This is one of the things that make me grateful for choosing Islam.

Whos ya daddy??

The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child
Support Agency Forms in the section for listing ‘father’s details;’ or
putting it another way…. Who’s yo Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from
the forms! The city processes thousands of applications per month; but,
these few are selected for their comical nature.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered
by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of
Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being
sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you
with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had s*x with a
man I met that night. I do remember that the s*x was so good that I
fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me
his phone number?
Thanks.

4. I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW
that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps
you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had it
replaced. That would be the daddy.

5. I have never had s*x with a man. I am still a Virginian. I think that my
son’s conception was ejaculate stuff on a tawl and that he is an axident.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia dad as he informs me that to do
so would blow his cover and that would have cat aclysmic implications for
his wife. I am torn between doing right by you and right by him. Please
advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same
to me.

8. Tyrone Lairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him,
can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned
at the same time…. well, I don’t have clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World;
it really was in the Magic Kingdom .

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for
sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I
had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956
Miller Ave. , mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all,
like when you eat a can of beans you can’t be sure which one made you
fart.

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Credit Card Scam

August 14, 2009 at 2:25 am (Uncategorized) (, )

Credit Card Scam

Snopes.Com says this is true. To verify see this site:

http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/creditcard.asp

This one is pretty slick since they provide YOU with all the information, except the one piece they
want. Note, the callers do not ask for your card number; they already have it… This information is worth reading. By understanding how the VISA &
Master Card Telephone Credit Card Scam works, you’ll be better prepared to
protect yourself. One of our employees was called on Wednesday from
‘VISA’,
and I was called on Thursday from ‘Master Card’.

The scam works like this:
Caller: ‘This is (name), and I’m calling from the Security and Fraud
Department at VISA. My Badge number is 12460. Your card has been flagged
for an unusual purchase pattern, and I’m calling to verify. This would be
on your VISA card which was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an
Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a Marketing company based in ?’
When you say ‘No’, the caller continues with, ‘Then we will be issuing a
credit to your account. This is a company we have been watching and the
charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern that
flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to
(gives you your address), is that correct?’ You say ‘yes’.

The caller continues – ‘I will be starting a Fraud investigation. If you
have any questions, you should call the 1- 800 number listed on the back
of your card (1-800 -VISA) and ask for Security.’ You will need to refer
to this Control Number. The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. ‘Do
you need me to read it again?’ Here’s the IMPORTANT part on how the scam
works.
The caller then says, ‘I need to verify you are in possession of your
card’.
He’ll ask you to ‘turn your card over and look for some numbers’. There are
7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the next 3 are the
security Numbers that verify you are the possessor of the card. These are
the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have
the card. The caller will ask you to read the 3 numbers to him. After you
tell the caller the 3 numbers, he’ll say, ‘That is correct, I just needed
to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you still
have your card. Do you have any other questions?’ After you say No, the
caller then thanks you and states, ‘Don’t hesitate to call back if you do,
and hangs up. You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell
you the Card number.. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called
back within 20 minutes to ask a question.. Are we glad we did! The REAL
VISA
Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a new
purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card. Long story – short – we made
a real fraud report and closed the VISA account. VISA is reissuing us a
new number. What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back
of the card Don’t give it to them. Instead, tell them you’ll call VISA or
Master card directly for verification of their conversation. The real VISA
told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as they already
know the information since they issued20the card! If you give the scammers
your 3
Digit PIN Number, you think you’re receiving a credit. However, by the time
you get your statement you’ll see charges for purchases you didn’t make,
and by then it’s almost too late and/or more difficult to actually file a
fraud report. What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a
call from a ‘Jason Richardson of Master Card’ with a word-for-word repeat
of the
VISA scam. This time I didn’t let him finish. I hung up! We filed a police
report, as instructed by VISA. The police said they are taking several of
these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we know that
this scam is happening. Please pass this on to all your family, friends
and neighbors. By informing each other, we protect each other. Neighbors
Helping
Neighbors

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The Old Phone

August 14, 2009 at 2:22 am (Uncategorized) (, )

I got this from elsewhere.

THE OLD PHONE

When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our
neighborhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The
shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the
telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to
it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an
amazing person. Her name was “Information Please” and there was nothing
she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone’s number and the
correct time.

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my
mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the
basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but
there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give
sympathy.

I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at
the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the
parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver
in the parlor and held it to my ear. “Information, please” I said into the
mouthpiece just above my head. A click or two and a small clear voice
spoke into my ear.

“Information.”

“I hurt my finger…” I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily
enough now that I had an audience.

“Isn’t your mother home?” came the question.

“Nobody’s home but me,” I blubbered.

“Are you bleeding?” the voice asked.

“No,” I replied. “I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts.” “Can you
open the icebox?” she asked…

I said I could.

“Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger,” said the
voice.

After that, I called “Information Please” for everything. I asked her for
help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped
me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park
just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, Information
Please,” and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things
grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, “Why
is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families,
only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?”

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, ” Wayne always
remember that there are other worlds to sing in.”

Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone, “Information Please.” “Information,”
said in the now familiar voice. “How do I spell fix?” I asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest . When I was
nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston . I missed my friend
very much. “Information Please” belonged in that old wooden box back home
and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the
table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those
childhood conversations never really left me.

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense
of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and
kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle
.
I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on
the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what
I was doing, I dialed my hometown Operator and said, “Information Please.”

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well. “Information.”

I hadn’t planned this, but I heard myself saying, “Could you please tell me
how to spell fix?”

There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, “I guess your
finger must have healed by now.”

I laughed, “So it’s really you,” I said. “I wonder if you have any idea how
much you meant to me during that time?”

I wonder,” she said, “if you know how much your call meant to me. I never
had any children and I used to look forward to your calls.”

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I
could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

“Please do”, she said. “Just ask for Sally.”

Three months later I was back in Seattle . A different voice answered
“Information.” I asked for Sally.

“Are you a friend?” she said.

“Yes, a very old friend,” I answered.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this,” she said. “Sally had been working
part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks
ago.”

Before I could hang up she said, “Wait a minute, did you say your name was
Wayne ?” “Yes.” I answered.

“Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called.
Let me read it to you.” The note said, “Tell him there are other worlds to
sing in. He’ll know what I mean.”

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

Never underestimate the impression you may make on others.

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enlightened perspective

June 19, 2009 at 1:55 am (Uncategorized) (, )

Found this elsewhere. I share this with you all, dear reader.

Please Read all the way to the bottom: If you will take the time to read
these. I promise you’ll come away with an enlightened perspective.. The
subjects covered affect us all on a daily basis:

They’re written by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much
with so few words. Enjoy…….

I’ve learned…. That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned….. That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned….. That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

I’ve learned…… That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I’ve learned…. That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned…. That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned…. That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I’ve learned…. That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned…. That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned…. That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I’ve learned…. That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I’ve learned…. That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned…. That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned…. That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned… That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I’ve learned…… That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I’ve learned….. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you..

I’ve learned…. That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned…. That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned… That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned…. That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them..

I’ve learned… That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I’ve learned….. That opportunities are never lost, someone will take the ones you miss..

I’ve learned…. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve learned…. That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I’ve learned…. That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned…. That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned…. That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’ re hooked for life.

I’ve learned…. That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned….. That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

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nosyntax.vim for latest Msysgit

May 1, 2009 at 4:49 am (Uncategorized) (, , )

Vim at latest msysgit have a problem. It has no nosyntax.vim required by syntax.vim. Its bugreport is marked WontFix

You can get it yourself at here

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Cucumber and Watir screencast

April 7, 2009 at 3:47 am (Uncategorized) (, , , )

I found a basic tutorial for using watir with cucumber. the vimeo page have nice hint from Aslak, cucumber’s creator.
Enjoy

Cucumber and Watir 101 from Dave Hoover on Vimeo.

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Enaknya beli dari startup

February 16, 2009 at 7:03 am (Uncategorized) (, , )

Beberapa hari lalu kantorku perlu beli RAM tambahan untuk laptop. Aku cari-cari dan dapatkan salah satu jenis RAM yang dicari. Tapi aku khawatir jangan-jangan gak cocok untuk laptop itu. Padahal gede, 1Gig.

Aku coba tanya ke salah satu toko. Tidak besar, memang. Namanya Perdana Putra Computer (PPC). Di situ aku tanyakan kesediaan RAM tersebut dan kecocokannya dengan laptop itu. Mbak yang jawab di telepon itu janji akan cari tahukan dan akan telpon balik ke aku.

Sesudah itu, aku coba telpon ke toko yang sudah ternama, bhinneka.com, dan tanyakan masalah yang sama. Mbak yang jawab di telepon itu bilang agar aku kontak langsung bagian teknisnya dan ngasih nomor telpon. Aku langsung “padam” minat dan langsung lupa nomor telpon itu. Well, kalaupun aku jadi ke bhinneka, aku bisa telpon dan tanya lagi.

Belakangan, PPC telpon aku ngasih jawaban. Aku langsung pilih deal. Delivery-nya juga lumayan cepat. Siang itu juga aku dah terima barangnya.

Ini enaknya berurusan dengan startup. Buat bhinneka mungkin aku cuma salah satu dari puluhan customernya yang tidak banyak ngasih profit sehingga meladeni aku berarti ngganggu antrian. Tapi PPC yang beri aku solusi.

BTW, aku gak gitu ngerti harga pasaran saat ini, tapi teman-teman kantorku sesudah baca brosur yang ditinggalkan tadi langsung komentar, “wah, murah”. Mungkin harganya memang bersaing.

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Menara Dubai yang bisa gerak

November 1, 2008 at 10:21 am (Uncategorized)

Aku tahu dari sini tentang rancangan menara Dubai yang tiap lantainya bisa gerak berputar. Rencananya jadi 2010. Harga yang termurah sekitar 4 juta dolar.

Ini contohnya

5 modes

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How to confuse an idiot

October 23, 2008 at 7:02 am (Uncategorized)

Found it here. Priceless. Betul-betul lucu. Really funny.

Here it is

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Amazing Pictures of the Sun

October 14, 2008 at 2:46 am (Uncategorized)

Today I found a link to amazing pictures of the Sun at Boston.com. Here are some of it.
Sun rotation animation

Solar flare

corona

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